NonCannon HP Soap Opera
by Carpe Nocturnum
Summary: The summary won’t fit into this thinger so please look inside…. It has romance, mystery, and enough humor to guarantee you’ll laugh.
1. So it Begins

Three young witches come to Hogwarts as apprentices, Aislinn to Pomfrey, Anndy to McGonagall, and Aahz to Snape. Grace is also at the school, a seer apprenticed to Trelawney, much to her displeasure. When Aahz' brother seeks sanctuary at Hogwarts, they find an old book containing a dangerous potions recipe that has the power to bring back the dead as omnipotent beings… with them as the main ingredients.   
  
We are not, nor claim to be affiliated with the demi-goddess of the universe J.K. Rowling. All recognizable characters belong to her. Anything that seems completely insane is ours.  
  
This story is NOT Cannon! It isn't meant to be. We quite on purpose manipulated J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter universe to suit us. Don't like, don't read! Like, PLEASE read! And Reviews, they are some of our favorite things…   
  
A bit of background on this fic…. We had over six months of work put into it when a sick computer killed most of it… So now that we're past the mourning stage, we're redoing it. This thing is HUGE. The part that's left adds up to 463 pages… and that's just bits and pieces of it. Please be patient with updates. Aahz lives in NY while Jade Caminus and Anndy Malfoy live in WA, so writing is a bit chaotic. ENJOY!   
  
The Hogwarts Express wheezed to a stop at Platform 9 ¾ in front of a group of peculiarly dressed people. There were ten in all, three young, not much older then twenty.   
  
Two of the youngest were off to the side, chatting. Looking closer at the group, on of the young ladies was glancing repeatedly over her shoulder at a member of the opposite sex who was engaged in conversation, before turning back to the other young woman in front of her.  
  
Andromeda Malfoy and Aahz H. S. Saftis were starting on an adventure of a lifetime, though they didn't know it.  
  
Looking back at the other group, there was a short squat wizard, who was speaking to the tall young male that had captured Andromeda's attention. The two were surrounded by people, one tall, thin old man, another with greasy lank black hair, a rather –em—prominent nose, and an old woman, her graying black hair pulled into a severe bun.  
  
Two aging women were chatting; one with a distinct hospital air, and the other reeked of dirt.  
  
One more person stood farther apart from the crowd, now boarding the train. Remus Lupin stood tall, his auburn hair graying prematurely, and his amber eyes searing.  
  
"Oy, are you getting on the train then?" A conductor called.  
  
The hustle and bustle soon left the station empty and the train rolling away.  
  
Aahz followed the greasy haired dude into the train, where the compartments were. She turned to Anndy. Clearing her throat, she said, "So… what now?"  
  
"Well, I suppose we get introduced..." Anndy replied, thinking all was not lost as the tall thin man stood up in the front of the compartment.  
  
Aahz snorted. "You mean you want to get to know the red head right? With the nice bum?" She adjusted her bag on her shoulder.  
  
"Oh shut up! You're the one working with the 'Greasy Haired Git' of the month"  
  
"Hey! Prof. Dilts set that up! And the first thing I'm doing is introducing him to the lovely invention called, 'shampoo.'"  
  
"Bully for Professor Dilts. Sh! That's Professor Dumbledore!" Anndy stated in a loud stage whisper as the old guy in the front began his speech.  
  
"Eek..." Aahz bit her lip and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well, this year I am pleased to see some new faces!" Dumbledore said happily.  
  
"Pleased my ass," said the skinny sallow skinned snarky man with the greasy hair.  
  
"Yes, pleased, Severus. I would like everyone to introduce themselves starting with the new members."  
  
"Well, I guess that's me then." Anndy said to Aahz as she stood up.  
  
"Yup. Go right ahead Anndy." She fished through her bag and pulled out some gum.  
  
"Cow." Anndy whispered, before starting, "Hello, Andromeda Malfoy, pleased to meet you." she said quickly, and sat back down. Her name was met by whispers of   
  
"Her? I've heard of her." "Disowned, wasn't she, I heard it was all about You-Know-Who" and "Oh great, another Malfoy" from some of the seated spectators.  
  
Aahz stood up, tossing a stick of gum at her, at the same time popping a piece in her mouth. "Well, if you're done gossiping..."  
  
"Honestly Aahz, shut up." Anndy whispered urgently.  
  
Aahz raised an eyebrow and glared at those still talking. "Anywho... My name is Aahz Heart Siawl Saftis. Let me assure you... this meeting has been... shall we say... interesting?" She flopped back down in her seat, blowing a large bubble.  
  
The rest introduced themselves as Bill Weasley (The hot one with red hair and a nice tush), Remus Lupin, whom we already know, Filius Flitwick (the short squat man), Albus Dumbledore obviously, Severus Snape (the greasy haired git of the month), Minerva McGonagall (the aging witch with the severe bun), Silvia Sprout (the one who reeked of dirt), and Poppy Pomfrey (the one with a distinct hospital smell).  
  
All were greeted with polite hullo's except for Bill Weasley, who was greeted by a blush from our own Miss Malfoy.  
  
Aahz smirked. "So... how long until we get there?"  
  
"Umm...I'll go ask Bill!" Anndy said with a particularly crimson blush.  
  
"Sure you will..." She dug through her bag again and pulled out a potions textbook, which she began taking notes from.  
  
"Thanks for your support." Anndy whispered half snidely half amused.  
  
"You need me to prop you up or something?"  
  
Anndy replied with a grin, "No thanks. I think I can manage."  
  
"Good for you... Make sure to tell me when the wedding is..." Aahz blew another bubble, smirking.  
  
Anndy marched off.  
  
As she stood in front of Bill, she actually looked at him. His long red hair was pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, a large fang pierced his ear, and as he looked up, his dark blue eyes held a surprised note to them.  
  
"Hello." He said warily.  
  
"Hello." Anndy replied, valiantly fighting off a blush.  
  
Aahz watched from over the top of her book, wishing she had a camera.  
  
"So, er, any idea when the train will stop?"  
  
"Not a clue." Bill replied, looking Anndy over in what had to be an appraising glance.  
  
"So..." Anndy said lamely.  
  
"You're related to the Malfoy family?" Bill asked, hitting a highly sensitive spot, all unknowingly.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." Anndy said stiffly.  
  
Aahz shook her head, popping up. She just had to bug her. It'd be evil... er... fun. She walked over and hit Anndy in the shoulder, then noticed how much taller she was. She turned to Bill. "Do you know where I can get some stilts?"  
  
Bill laughed.  
  
Anndy blushed.  
  
Remus Lupin cursed as his book slipped and gave him a paper cut.  
  
"Yeah, hold on a second." Bill replied, and leaning over the empty seat next to him he conversed to Remus in quiet voices, until both nodded, and conjured up stilts. They were pink and orange. Atrocious colors.  
  
Aahz laughed. "Yup... cause my mom lied...." She took the stilts and put them on, managing not to fall over. "I never hit that last growth spurt... She said it would happen, but... Hey! Your eyes are Green!" She pointed at Anndy, a wicked glee filling her eyes.  
  
"What about them?" Anndy asked, still on the defensive.  
  
"I could never see them before. Craning my neck... Really...." She turned to Bill and   
  
Remus, giving a mock bow. "I thank thee muchly."  
  
Anndy tried to glare.  
  
And failed miserably. Her countenance was broken by a reluctant grin pulling the sides of her mouth.  
  
Aahz snickered. "Got'cha! Anywho... yeah... Ms. I'm all tall and model like with a midget for a best friend... yeah. You never said how long it would be until we got there."  
  
"Quiet you." Anndy said, smiling fully for the first time on the train ride.  
  
Score! Bill would see her smile, all Aahz wanted. "Well fine then... I'm just going to study then... cause I'm not loved. Nope. Not at all..." She stumbled towards her seat, singing, "I'm all alone... there's no one here beside me..."  
  
"I hate it when she does that." Anndy whispered.  
  
Bill grinned. "What?"  
  
"She...well...Dunno really.... Quite hard to explain." Anndy stuttered through the not-quite-an-explanation.  
  
Bill chuckled. "Why don't you sit down... so... You're assisting Prof. McGonagall?"  
  
"Yeah...She told me that in all my seven years, I was great at Transfig. and a slump at the rest. She's teaching me to become an Animagus." Anndy said, *finally* forgetting who she was talking too.  
  
Bill chuckled yet again. "I'm helping with Charms. I used to be a curse breaker for Gringotts."  
  
Dawning recognition flew over her face "That's where I've seen you! Your that guy Da' " here she flinched, but ploughed on "was tormenting...it was years ago...I couldn't have been more than...twelve."  
  
Bill frowned. "Ah... Yeah. I remember that." He frowned then looked at Aahz who was blowing bubbles. "So... how did you meet your friend?"  
  
"We bumped into each other while I was on a tour in America. She's American." Anndy said, as if that explained everything, which, of course, it did.  
  
"Ah... American huh?" He smiled. "So what were you doing in America?"  
  
"I was searching for a good Transfiguration teacher. I found Aahz instead." She smiled at the small irony of it.  
  
Bill grinned. "Well, McGonagall's the best. Mind you, she thinks I'm a scoundrel."  
  
"Why do I think she's right?" Anndy said airily.  
  
Bill shook his head. "Little old me? I'm sweet and innocent. Promise."  
  
"I'm sure you are."  
  
'I am! Ask my little sister Ginny... or Fred and George... Well... no... Don't ask them..." He trailed off. "Okay... I lied."  
  
"Well, I'm not what you could call innocent either."  
  
Bill raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"  
  
"Well, Aahz and I met in a rather, wild, party. I was, I believe, stringing exploding snap cards over a door."  
  
He smiled. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?"  
  
"Aah...I don't suppose you had anything to do with that?"  
  
'Nah... My little brothers... Fred and George? It's their company. I just helped with some of their pranks on Percy... another sibling."  
  
"Oh, I'm quite well equipped in your family history. My father thinks of it as a 'hobby'."  
  
"Yup... Mind you, I think he fancies my Father. Would explain a lot of things right?"  
  
"That it would. I think I have a sickle in my pocket."  
  
Bill looked up as he felt the train slowing. "I think we're there. I'll let you tell...Ahz was it?"  
  
"Aahz." Anndy corrected absent-mindedly.  
  
"Oh. Well... I don't suppose you'd sit with me at dinner tonight? I rather like talking with you."  
  
Despite her best efforts, Anndy blushed. "I'd love to." And she pecked him on the cheek, positively skipping away.  
  
Bill's hand rose to his cheek and he grinned.  
  
***  
  
Aahz picked up her bag, rolling her eyes as she followed. Yup. Happies for every one...but her. Yup, she could laugh, joke around, and even walk on some really ugly stilts, but she still wanted some one for herself. Who didn't think her totally messed in the head like Bill did.  
  
"Anndy, wait up!"  
  
"Huh? Oh. Sorry Aahz!"  
  
'That's okay... So got a date?" She waggled her eyebrows.  
  
"Well, dinner in the Great Hall isn't exactly a date. But yes."  
  
Aahz shook her head. "Counts to me."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Oh, Dunno...So, when are you getting yourself a guy?" Anndy asked, unusually chipper.  
  
"What would I need a guy for? Most of 'em aren't even house trained. Besides, I want to get this apprenticeship over." She sighed. Okay... so she wanted one. But hello. 1: It seemed most British guys didn't like 'yanks' as they called it, 2: Most guys thought she was weird. That's guys all over the world.  
  
"I'm sure you'll find one. Gods, I'm starved. And the trains just stopped."  
  
Aahz laughed. "You know... you could have asked. I always carry food in my bag. I've got soda, and even some spray cheese stuff and crackers... I think."  
  
"You know very well that I can't eat that stuff. Just thinking about cheese in a tube grosses me out."  
  
"And you think I'm weird..." Aahz muttered. "Can we please just get off this flippin' train already?! My bum is so friggin' numb..."  
  
"Nice rhyme."  
  
***  
  
"Whoa..." Aahz was whipping her head around, trying to see everything all at once.  
  
"Don't try. You'll get a cramp."  
  
'Huh?"  
  
"Just don't look around to fast."  
  
"Oh fine. I'll act normal..." Aahz turned slowly in a circle. "Hogwarts, A History doesn't even some close."  
  
"I know.... Leaves out so much...Besides, its a typical History book...No pictures."  
  
"Yeah... still. It didn't mention... dude! That picture is moving!"  
  
"Oh yeah...Forgot to mention that..." Anndy paused, and then said, "C'mon. I'm starved. Let's go in the Great Hall."  
  
"O...k... and yeah... so... moving pictures... what next?"  
  
"You don't wanna know. There's Bill! Sorry Aahz, he invited me to sit with him. Can you manage without me?"  
  
"Nope... not at all... I'll die." She rolled her eyes. "Get your bum over there."  
  
"Thanks!" Anndy said, wrinkling up her nose. "Bye!"  
  
Aahz switched her bag to the other shoulder and walked towards the head table, looking for empty seats. Yup fun. Uh huh...  
  
Aislinn looked up from her book. "Hi! The seat next to me is empty."  
  
Aahz grinned. "Thanks." She hobbled over on her funky stilts and plopped into the chair before taking them off. "I'm Aahz."  
  
"I'm Aislinn. Nice stilts," she added, eyeing the orange and pink creations.  
  
"Yeah... I'm giving them to the next clown I see. I was trying to get Anndy," She nodded at said person. "To calm down so she could talk with Bill. Making an idiot out of myself works rather well."  
  
Aislinn giggled a bit. "I imagine it would. Who are you 'prenticed to?"  
  
"Greasy git dude who is going to learn what Shampoo is even if I have to put him in a full body bind."  
  
Anndy looked over her shoulder, saw Aahz was engaged in conversation, and turned back to Bill.  
  
Aislinn covered her mouth to suppress the laughter. "Good luck, Aahz. Most of the staff has been trying for years without success."  
  
'Well, maybe if I tell him I think his lack of hygiene is sexy... I think he'd jump into a pool of shampoo."  
  
"Oh my god." she squinched her eyes closed. "You know, I think that might actually work."  
  
Aahz smirked. "I think I will... cause yeah. I'm evil..."  
  
"Well then. I'll just have to make sure to stay on your good side." Aislinn grinned broadly. "So, apprenticed to Snape. Given your obvious wit, I might not have to feel as sorry for you as I thought. I was originally planning to pity the poor soul who got stuck with him."  
  
"Nah. I think I'll drive him nuts. My brother is sending him a sympathy card." Aahz shrugged and stuck her gum to the side of her plate.  
  
"Let me guess, American, right?"  
  
"Yup. How'd you guess?"  
  
"Well, mostly by your distinct accent, and partly by your, erm...unique sense of humor."  
  
"Oh... forgot the accent thing... give me a month. I pick up accents really quick."  
  
"I believe it. Who is that pretty girl you came in with? I don't think I've met her before. Her name is Anndy, right?"  
  
"Yup. She's great. I met her at a party... She was pranking some people... quite funny."  
  
"Really now? What was this prank she pulled? My fiancé was something of a prankster himself, so I'm pretty familiar with most methods."  
  
"I think it was exploding Snap over the top of a door..." she frowned. "Was a prankster?"  
  
Aislinn laughed. "Exploding Snap? Goodness, he never thought of that one. Yes, he was a prankster...still is to some degree."  
  
"Pranksters are okay... Mind you, I got some Ton Tongue Toffees out of the magazine thinger... I slipped them into my brother's coffee. Wow that was funny. I'll have to show you the pictures."  
  
"Oh, I believe it. Remus got a hold of some of those once. Nasty experience, that."  
  
"Hmm... He was that wolfish looking man who helped Bill with the stilts. I think..."  
  
"Yes, that sounds like him. Makes me wonder sometimes why I said yes..."  
  
"He's your fiancé? Cool."  
  
"Thanks." Aislinn blushed. "He's definitely worth it. Not to pry or anything, but are you seeing anyone? A funny, talented girl like you, single? Somehow I can't believe that ever happening."  
  
Aahz snorted. "Hardly. I'm studying now. I just want to finish my education. I can ogle guys later."  
  
"Good for you. I'd intended to do that, but..." She shrugged. "Oh, good. The food's arrived."  
  
Anndy stood up, walked over to where Aahz and Aislinn were seated, and plopped in a chair next to Aahz. "Hey Aahz, who's that?"  
  
"Aahz? You're drifting out in space there..."  
  
"That's Aislinn. She's apprenticed to Pomfrey."  
  
"Really? That's cool. Pomfrey's been here ages."  
  
Aahz looked up. "Mars is bright tonight..." She laughed. "Spacey enough?"  
  
"Right, what have you been smoking? Never mind, I don't want to know. So what did you talk about?"  
  
Aahz shrugged, taking a bit of potatoes. "I don't know. So... Bill is nice... or he seemed like it."  
  
"Yeah, he's great...got your eye on anyone?"  
  
"I don't know.... Snape's hair is pretty sexy..." She spoke loudly, so he would here her. "I mean... the whole not showering bit makes it so shiny..."  
  
Snape coughed, choking on a potato, and glared at Aahz.  
  
Aahz winked at him. "Really... makes me want to run my fingers through it..."  
  
"Ew." Anndy flinched. "You've got the weirdest taste Aahz. You really do."  
  
Aahz raised an eyebrow. "I was being sarcastic. It's part of my evil plot to make him bathe while I'm apprenticed under him."  
  
"Oh. Well, that would be an improvement." Anndy whispered, then loudly said   
  
"Yeah! I have to agree with you. It just looks so soft, and silky. I wonder what tastes like."  
  
Aislinn goggled at the two of them in shock.  
  
Anndy laughed, trying to cover up her greenness at her own mental image...  
  
"Aislinn, this is Anndy, Anndy, this is Aislinn." She winked at Severus. "Yup... that's the man I want. Maybe he can show me how to get my hair like that..."  
  
Anndy gaped. "I know how," she whispered. "Don't take a shower for a month."  
  
Aislinn made an "eeewwww" face. "Pleasure to meet you, Anndy."  
  
Aahz grinned. "Yup... girls, I think I'm in love..."  
  
"Oh god...I was afraid of that."  
  
Aahz couldn't take it anymore and began laughing into her potatoes.  
  
Anndy looked at Aislinn, "And a pleasure to meet you as well." She glanced around, her eyes landing on Aislinn's left hand. "Pray tell, who are you attached to?"  
  
"Remus Lupin," Aislinn said softly. "It's not really public knowledge yet."  
  
Aahz tried to stop laughing and was taking great gulps of air.  
  
Anndy snorted at Aahz, sending her spinach flying down the table. A leaf had landed in Snape's plate. "Sorry," she said, reaching over to grab it.  
  
Snape glared at Anndy as she grabbed the leaf, "You should be sorry," he sneered.  
  
"Should I now?" Anndy asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Snape merely glowered at her again and went back to his goulash.  
  
Aahz stood, walking around behind him, carrying her stilts. "Yeah... she should. Who even eats spinach?" She plopped down next to him, and then smelled his hair. Her eyes watered but she hid it. "Oh... please. How can I get my hair to look like that?"  
  
Anndy laughed so loudly that even the Headmaster dropped his fork to listen.  
  
"Severus... is it okay for me to call you Severus?"  
  
"I--" he glanced down the table at Dumbledore. "I'd prefer it," he said coldly, "if you called me sir, but Severus will do."  
  
She shivered. "Your voice... I'm sorry. It's just so Alan Rickman-ish... so sexy."  
  
"Alan who?" Snape asked.   
  
"Rickman." Anndy piped up.  
  
"He's a muggle actor. Quite handsome...but his hair isn't as nice."  
  
Snape shuddered. He was being compared to a *Muggle* actor.  
  
Anndy snorted again, this time retaining all of her dinner in her plate.  
  
"Aw... come on Sir! Really!" Aahz ran a hand down his arm. "Your voice is amazing!"  
  
"As I'm sure you'll find, Miss Saftis, you will come to fear this voice." Snape said avoiding eye contact with anyone seated at the table.  
  
Aahz heaved a huge sigh as she propped an elbow on the table, the laid her head on it. She stared at him. "I don't care what you say as long as you keep talking..."  
  
Snape pursed his lips, every feature dying to say that he would love nothing more than to murder the young woman in from of him. But he kept his silence to forbear any more pride crashing sentences,  
  
Aahz looked at the huge man-type watch on her wrist. "As much as I'd love to hear more... I'm afraid I have some studying to do before tomorrow..." She stood. "Are there any specific potions ingredients I'll need?"   
  
Snape glared, he new perfectly well he was stuck in a corner. "Kinsfold. I have none in my stores. If you can't find it, don't come." He snapped.  
  
"How much? I'm sure I can find some."  
  
"Enough to fill a jar." He hissed, and stood up, his robes sweeping over his chair.  
  
"Can do!" Aahz stood, and rejoined Anndy and Aislinn. "You guys know where I can get some Kinsfold?"  
  
"Shrieking Shack." Anndy said, through a mouthful of chicken, though it sounded   
  
more like "eiking hat" than anything intelligent.  
  
"Huh?" Aahz tilted her head. "Good chicken?"  
  
"Definitely." Anndy said, swallowing, "I haven't had decent food in ages."  
  
"And I can find the Kinsfold where?"  
  
"The Shrieking Shack." Anndy said, loudly, clearly, and slowly as if she were   
  
talking to a mentally deranged five-year-old.  
  
"Ah. I thought you said the Eiking Hat."  
  
Anndy blushed a light shade of rose.  
  
"Any who... I'm gonna head out there as soon as I find a flash light..." She stood.   
  
"I'll see you later."  
  
"Right. Bye."  
  
Aahz waved as she made her way out of the hall, her stilts under her arm.   
  
Anndy and Aislinn laughed as she went, then turned back to their dinners, without a worry, but if there was enough chicken. 


	2. Siriusly Drunk

We are not, nor claim to be affiliated with the demi-goddess of the universe J.K. Rowling. All recognizable characters belong to her. Anything that seems completely insane is ours.  
  
This story is NOT Cannon! It isn't meant to be. We quite on purpose manipulated J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter universe to suit us. Don't like, don't read! Like, PLEASE read! And Reviews, they are some of our favorite things…   
  
Aahz picked her way from Hogsmeade to the Shack, her flashlight glimmering. Kinsfold. According the book it was a blue flower with red thorns. Frowning, she made her way over. Good thing she'd worn jeans. The brush was really high here. Finally she was at the base of the shack, and saw a patch of Kinsfold. "Score," she muttered.  
  
She pulled her shears and jar from her bag and began gathering. She had just finished putting the top back onto the jar when she heard a noise from with in the shack.  
  
She raised a brow. "And this is the place that's supposed to be haunted? Sure... And I'm 6 foot 8!" She stuffed her stuff back into her bag, standing. She heard the noise again and made her way to the window. She shined the flashlight inside, seeing nothing but dust. Ok... now she was curious.  
  
A slam echoed throughout the shabby house, echoing across the dark night. The house shuddered. It had to be something big then. Well, that, my dears, almost put our Aahz out of action, but she wasn't trying to be a Potions Mistress for nothing, you had to have a certain amount of bravery for the role. Botched potions make bad poisons. But, dear readers, we're getting off topic, and the house shook again  
  
All right! That's it! She was going in... Curiosity killed the cat... not a witch. She grinned a she heaved a rock through a window large enough for her to climb through. She broke out the jagged edges and climbed through, shinning her light around.  
  
Her light landed on a shadow that did not disappear; a large, black, something was sitting next to that ripped up dusty chair. Well, this certainly was curious.  
  
A low growl emitted from the blob. Had to be a canine of sorts then...Damn, she was never good with dogs.  
  
The growl came again, stronger this time, and glowing eyes came with it. Red, actually, like most dogs reflective plates in their eyes   
  
Aahz bit her lip. "Hey dog." She didn't use the annoying baby voice most people did with animals she hated that. "I don't suppose there's a human type person around here with you?" She smacked her head. "Yeah... Aahz, the dog's really going to respond!"  
  
The dog barked, wagging its tail and coming into the light if the flashlight. It surprisingly lost all ideas of biting.  
  
"Well aren't you huge! Holy cow!" She held out a hand. "Can I pet you?"  
  
The dog woofed again and thrust its very cold nose into her hand.  
  
"Oh... wow you're cold. You poor..." she checked. "Guy." She plopped down on the floor. "Come here."  
  
He turned three circles, and sat down, directly on Aahz.  
  
"Ow! Okay, Mr. Big Butt. Nice to meet you too." She began running her hands over him, petting. "You're way too thin! Whoever left you here should be shot!"  
  
He woofed again, wagging his tail, and ending up swapping Aahz on the nose.  
  
"Dang you! Would you mind terribly if I took you home with me? I mean I can't leave you here... I mean... puppy eyes... and yeah."  
  
The dog seemed to grin impishly, and looked up at Aahz, eyes wide and watering slightly.  
  
She blushed. "Damn dog. I am such a softy…I hate myself sometimes." She pulled open her bag. "I don't suppose you'd like some crackers? I'd offer spray cheese but..."  
  
He woofed, and it almost sounded like a laugh, but nonetheless, he stole the crackers from Aahz's partially opened hand.  
  
"Hungry huh? Well, if you'll let me up, I'll get you back to Hogwarts. You can sleep in my room... and I'm sure the house elves will give me food. I mean... It won't be dog food but..."  
  
He barked again, stood up, and walked over to a concealed door, and sat down again.  
  
"What's that?" She picked her stuff up and walked over.   
  
The dog barked, louder this time, and shoved his less-than-considerable weight against Aahz's legs.  
  
Aahz tipped, her hand landing against the wall. "You little... huge...!"  
  
The dog woofed, and started out into the cold night air.  
  
"Wait! What..." She jogged after him.  
  
He was a considerable distance ahead, and was reaching Honeydukes before Aahz caught up.  
  
She grabbed him about the neck. "And chocolate is bad for dogs! No use coming here!"  
  
He woofed again, straining against Aahz's small hand.  
  
"Okay then buddy boy. What do you want to be called? I'll let you pick, as I've never had a dog."  
  
The dog barked, seeming to say that he couldn't exactly pick a name, as he couldn't speak, yet.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Fine. You bark when you here one you like..." She sat. "Er... Butch? Hank? Ripper? Buff... no... Er..." She giggled. "Snuffles?"  
  
"WOOF!" Snuffles barked, and trotted away, wagging his tail like a maniac.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Snuffles? O...k..."  
  
Snuffles looked back, almost like he was waiting for Aahz to come with him.  
  
She sighed. "You know... I thought the owner was supposed to walk the dog, not the other way around..."  
  
He gave another delighted bark that still sounded remarkably like a laugh, and trotted off to Hogwarts.  
  
She followed, shaking her head.  
  
*****  
  
Aahz swore loudly as Snuffles knocked her on her butt for the third time on the way to the headmaster's office. She figured she should at least tell him the brute was with her now. "Jeez! Could you just... GR!"  
  
Snuffles wagged his tail and licked her face.  
  
She huffed. And stood, wiping off her sore bum. "All right the office is right up here. Now I know the password... I think..."  
  
"Er... Um. I think it was some sort of candy..." She looked at Snuffles. "Sit."  
  
He laid down, giving her a big puppy stare.  
  
She looked at the ceiling, her hands going to her hips. "And even if you give me that look you're sleeping on the floor. I don't care." She raised a brow, looking at the griffin statue thing. Or she thought it was. "Chocolate Frog maybe?"  
  
"No, I do believe I changed it this morning Miss Saftis." Dumbledore said from behind her.  
  
"Eek!" She jumped whirling around. "Eh..." She let out a squeak when she saw who it was.  
  
Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling merrily behind his half moon glasses. "Fizzing Whizbees."  
  
Aahz narrowed her eyes. "You know that wasn't funny right? I mean really!"  
  
Dumbledore grinned, yes, grinned, mischievously.  
  
She smiled a little. "Well... maybe. Anywho, I was getting Kinsfold for Prof. I-need-to-learn-what-a-shower-is and I found Snuffles here..." She motioned at the black beast. "And I brought him back with me because he was freezing and is just way too thin..."  
  
Dumbledore's twinkle intensified. "Ah, I see. Well Miss Saftis, I suppose you'll just have to keep him."  
  
She grinned. "I can? And will the house elves give me food for him, 'cause he ate all the crackers I had with me... but I didn't think he'd like the spray cheese I have... I love that stuff but Anndy hates it... okay... I'm shutting up now..."  
  
Dumbledore laughed. "I'm sure the House Elves won't mind. I'll escort you down to the kitchens now, if you wish."  
  
She nodded. "Please... and yeah... Do you think Hagrid would loan me a leash for him?"  
  
"I have no doubt." Dumbledore assured her.  
  
Aahz began talking about the spray cheese again and didn't notice she'd lost Albus until she finally shut up. "Er... Hello?"  
  
A few corners back Albus Dumbledore was talking to Snuffles. "Welcome back Sirius." He said, twinkling merrily.  
  
Snuffles shape began to contort, till the thin dog formed a tall, thin man wearing a delighted grin. "Its good to be back Albus."  
  
"And I see you've met one of our new recruits."  
  
"Yeah...what's her name? She's gorgeous."  
  
"Her name," Dumbledore said, with amusement, "Is Aahz Heart Siawl Saftis."  
  
"Wow. And I thought your name was long."  
  
"Well, I'm not American."   
  
"She's American?" Sirius asked loudly.  
  
"But of course."  
  
Footsteps began to echo as Aahz backtracked. Sirius wore a look of astonishment and guilt before changing back into Snuffles with a "pop".   
  
"There you are... really... the should hand out little visitor's maps for this school. I get lost so easy..." She went over to Snuffles. "And I thought you were with me too. Sheesh." She rubbed his ears.  
  
Sirius/Snuffles thrust his head into her hand, wagging his tail.  
  
"So sorry, Miss Saftis, I got sidetracked, shall we go?" Dumbledore responded.  
  
"Sure..." She raised an eyebrow. "You're a weird dog you know that?"  
  
Snuffles woofed.  
  
"Okay, headmaster... which way?"  
  
Dumbledore began to walk towards a large picture of fruit.  
  
"Tickle the pear." He said, amusement still shining in his eyes.  
  
"Tickle the what?" She held up a hand, but stopped short of doing so.  
  
"Pear." He said calmly.  
  
"O...kay..." Aahz tickled the pear. "And this does what?" The portrait swung open. "Oh."  
  
"Professor Dumbledore Sir... We wasn't expecting you..." Dobby bowed low, his nose scraping the floor.   
  
Aahz grinned. House elves were so ugly they were cute.  
  
"I wasn't expecting myself, Dobby, no harm done."  
  
Dobby nodded. "Professor sir, you brings guests..." The elf turned to Aahz. "I's is Dobby. Dobby the house elf."  
  
Aahz grinned and held out a hand. "I'm Aahz..."  
  
Snuffles barked.  
  
Dobby turned to the dog. "Young Mr. Black!"   
  
The dog seemed to sigh, and its shape began to change, finally settling with a resounding POP. The tall thin man from before stood before Aahz. "So what do you think of me," He said, in a voice that was scratchy from lack of use, "Now that you know what I am?"  
  
"Eek?" Aahz sat down hard on the floor.  
  
"Um, well. Hi, I'm Sirius Black, escaped convict from Azkaban. I have a price on my head. How are you?"  
  
"Abuh?" Aahz mouth seemed stuck open as she stared at him. "Oohh..."  
  
Sirius offered her a hand. Obviously he didn't think the floor was a suitable place for her to sit. Unless he was on her.   
  
Aahz shook her head and took his hand. "Sorry. I... Yeah... Animagus huh?"  
  
"Obviously." Sirius said, grinning at her.  
  
She blushed, but couldn't take her eyes of him. "Yeah... question... Why would you follow a ditz like me home?"  
  
"Ditz? You're not a ditz. You're quite catching really. And now that I can see you in color, I must admit, I like what I see."  
  
Now she was doing her tomato impression. "I... Well..." She shook her head. "You're quite handsome yourself..." However, you obviously haven't seen a woman in a couple of years, she thought.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I think I'll just leave you two alone..." He said as the portrait closed behind him. The elves took the hint and backed off. Sirius and Aahz were now VERY alone.  
  
"So... The headmaster knew?" She scratched her xhead.  
  
"Well, yeah. You can't keep anything from Dumbledore. Barmy as he is."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Sirius grinned again. "So how about that food? Are you hungry?"  
  
"Well... kinda. But jeez! Really! You're too thin." She looked him over, shaking her head. "Sit down, and tell me what you want... I'll whip it up for you."  
  
Sirius' grin grew wider. "Well...It all depends. What do you feel like making?"  
  
"Lasagna? Spaghetti... Mac' n cheese... steak... whatever." She smiled shyly at him.   
  
"Steak. Definitely."  
  
"Can do." She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a huge steak, and a slightly smaller one. "Well done, Medium, or rare?"   
  
"Medium." He said, his mind not really on food, though the thought was appealing.  
  
She nodded, and got the steaks going before she pulled out some potatoes. "So... you were in Azkaban... but you went with out a trial right?"  
  
"Yes." Sirius said shortly. His time in Azkaban was not something he liked to think about, however far behind him it was.  
  
"Sorry..." She realized she'd hit a sore topic. She flipped the steaks, then sat down, and began wrapping the potatoes to bake them.  
  
"So, your American?"  
  
'Yeah... accent huh?" She stood, popping them into the oven the checking the steaks.  
  
"Not really. You've got more of a tan. Less freckles. And Dumbledore told me." He grinned impishly.  
  
"Oh. At least it's not my sense of humor... Wait... When'd he tell you?" She raised a brow.  
  
"Not to long ago." Sirius said evasively. Then he grinned, "If I kissed you, would you mind?"   
  
'Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me. Would you mind?"  
  
"I... I don't think I'd mind." She was bright red. "My face isn't ever going back to normal..."  
  
Sirius' smile widened into a full-blown grin. "That's fine then." He said, then ducked his head, and planted his lips on hers with no intention of moving for a while.  
  
Wow... Yeah... Aahz's hands made their way into his hair as she tried not to fall over. Her lips parted a bit and she sighed.   
  
He ran his tongue along her lips before slipping it into her mouth, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.   
  
She moaned a bit. Wow. Again... a thousand times wow.... her tongue brushed his and she gasped. Yup. Wow. Her hands tightened in his hair.  
  
Sirius obviously had the upper hand, but he was no Slytherin, he wouldn't take advantage of Aahz. He took one arm away from her waist and ran it down her slight form.   
  
She shivered, one of her hands cupping his stubbled jaw.   
  
He groaned, and they found themselves against a wall. Sirius broke the kiss to run his lips along her jaw line, and down to the soft spot just below her ear.   
  
Aahz gasped for breath. Finally she could say it. "Wow."  
  
Sirius chuckled, before a resounding clap echoed through the kitchens, and they realized they were being watched.  
  
Aahz did her tomato impression again, trying to hide, but at the same time see who it was.  
  
Dobby was blushing madly. "I's sorries... but yours steaks is burning..."  
  
Aahz swore, ducking away from Sirius. Glowering when she saw the pan. "Damn it!" She turned it off. "Your going to have to wait a bit for a medium steak... cause that's just beyond hope."  
  
"It was worth it." He said, finally having the grace to go pink.   
  
Aahz was glowing red. "In the middle of the friggin' kitchens...." She muttered as she pulled out more steaks. "Never live it down... just met him..."  
  
"What, do you regret it?" Sirius looked dejected.  
  
"No... You just don't... I mean..." She blushed. "Let's just say it's been a while since I even remotely felt like kissing someone... then we were in the kitchen! I mean..." She clamped her mouth shut and threw the steak into the pan. "The potatoes!"   
  
Sirius looked somewhat affronted, she was worried about bloody potatoes after she had just been snogged senseless by Sirius Black!  
  
She pulled them out, cursing when she was burned through the oven mitt. "Ouch!" She threw the pan on the counter as her hand went to her mouth.  
  
"Are you all right?" Sirius was by her side almost immediately, her small hand in his, looking horribly red and swollen.  
  
She was pouting. "Owie."  
  
Sirius was at a loss. His over-drive sex instinct was saying, "Just snog her and make her forget it," his brotherly instinct was saying "make sure she's alright." He was at a bloody loss.  
  
So, he made a compromise, he took her hand, and kissed her palm. "Better?" He asked in a husky voice.  
  
"I..." She stared at the burn, then at him. She smiled a bit. "Yeah..." She kissed his lips quickly before pulling away. "Told you I was a ditz... maybe that should be klutz..."  
  
Sirius laughed, his lips tingling from their kisses. "Well, this is a predicament isn't it?"  
  
"You might say that..." She licked her lips, tasting him there. Her lips mouthed the word wow yet again.   
  
His stomach rumbled and he cursed it thrice over, now was not the time to be hungry!  
  
She grinned as she checked the steaks one last time. 'These are done... but I have to ask... Snuffles?"  
  
"Aah.." He looked like he was off in a memory. Which, of course, he was. "Harry. It was a code name. Still is, as a matter of fact."  
  
"Harry?" She dished up the steaks, then the potatoes that weren't burned too badly. She carried them over to the table. "And you needed a code name because you were in hiding right?"  
  
"Yeah, I was hiding out with Buckbeak." He had a strange inclination to tell Aahz everything; very few people ever gave him the inclination.  
  
"What's a Buckb..." She held up her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm prying. What would you like to drink?"  
  
"Fire Whiskey. Buckbeak is my Hippogriff. Well, Hagrid's, actually, gave him back already." he sounded mildly put out at the prospect.  
  
She opened a bottle of the whisky, and set 2 shot glasses on the table, which she filled "Well, I'm sure Hagrid will let you see him."  
  
"I certainly hope so. He was the only thing that would look at me, besides Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore without calling the dementors in that first year." Sirius said, recalling the year in question.  
  
She shuddered. "Those things freak me out. Personally, I don't know how you made it in Azkaban..." She downed her shot, and cut a bite of her steak.  
  
"That's where Snuffles came in." He said, downing his shot and taking a bite of potato.  
  
"Oh." She motioned to the food as she poured them more whiskey. "How is it?"  
  
"Yummy." He said thickly.  
  
"You okay?" She took another bite.  
  
"Better then I could be." He said swallowing, "This sure beats those crackers." Sirius added with a cheeky grin.  
  
She blushed. "Hey... I mentioned the spray cheese..."  
  
Sirius shuddered. "Sorry." He said, "But that sounds like something Dumbledore would eat, like those, lemon shots, was it?"  
  
"I think that's sherbets..." She grinned. "I'll confess... I love the stuff. But someone ate all my crackers...."  
  
"Sorry," He said again, a faint pinkness on his neck.  
  
"Hey, I offered. And what the hey? You followed me home, so personally, I think a few crackers are worth it." She swallowed her shot and licked her lips.  
  
"Thank you. I think." Sirius said, taking another bite of potato closely by a shot.  
  
"Well... don't thank me yet. Anndy is going to know I got smoochies. Don't ask me how, but she will." She finished her steak. "I feel like a cow..."  
  
"You certainly don't look like one." He said, before taking a HUGE mouthful of steak and potato.  
  
"Never mind..." She smiled. "How tall are you any way?" Maybe it was a good thing she'd gotten those stilts.  
  
"Around six foot five." He said, blushing a bit more. He had always been teased about his height. That was why he could sympathize with Ron.  
  
"Midget woman strikes again..." She frowned. "It a good thing I got those stilts from Bill and Remus..."  
  
"Remus? How is old Moony?" Sirius became incredibly ecstatic and began eating more.  
  
"You want the rest of my potato?" She pushed it towards him. "He seemed well. I just met him on the train..." She didn't think it was her place to tell him of his engagement.  
  
"Ah damn. Last I checked he was dating some Lestrange chick. Daughter of my --." He stopped. Flat. And began shoveling food in his mouth making it literally impossible to speak.  
  
"Slow down. I'm too short to do the Heimlich maneuver. And personally, I want to get to know you better, not watch you die." She didn't mention Aislinn.   
  
Sirius attempted a swallow, got half down, spluttered, and felt the rest follow the first half. "Sorry." He muttered. "So...What brings you to Hogwarts? And who's Anndy?"  
  
She shook her head. "You can tell me to shut it. Any who, I'm apprenticed to I-desperately-need-a-shampoo-dude. I want to be a potions Mistress. Anndy is Andromeda Malfoy... my best friend. She's apprenticed to McGonagall."  
  
"Am I to take it that I-Desperately-Need-A-Shampoo-Dude is Snape? And Malfoy? I didn't know Lucius had a daughter."  
  
"Yeah... I'll have to tell you about my evil plot to make him bathe... and Lucius Malfoy is a prick."  
  
"Here here to that." Sirius said as he raised his shot.  
  
Aahz leaned forward, toasting with him then downing it. "Some how I think Anndy would be spluttering if she a sip of this..."  
  
"I wouldn't know. I used to enjoy spiking Snape's drink at mealtimes and watching him splutter. But then he figured it out, Polyjuice potion is a nasty thing."  
  
She raised a brow. "Oh? I thought it was handy. I'd switch places with my brother for certain tests. We passed. Fun."  
  
"Aah, not fun when you're Sirius Black in the body of Lucius Malfoy." Sirius said, grimacing.  
  
She snorted. "Oh come on! I would have looked for an embarrassing birth mark and blackmailed him."  
  
"I wouldn't want to look at his body if you paid me. It was enough to go wandering around with Malfoys head in Gryffindor robes." Sirius smirked.  
  
She giggled. She wasn't even tipsy yet. "Bar tending has its benefits..." She smirked.  
  
Sirius took another shot; this one barely made it to his mouth, his hand was swaying.  
  
"Oh please! Don't tell me I'm drinking you under the table!"  
  
"What?" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair, he was never good with drinks, over five shots was to much for him, and he tipped it back to far, causing him to blink stupidly at the ceiling.  
  
She squatted next to him. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I dunno..."  
  
She laid her head on his chest, shaking with laughter. "Come on... I think you staying in my room tonight... but you need to be Snuffles for that..."  
  
Sirius stood up, stumbled, and said "I can't, last time we *hiccup* Remus, and I, I couldn't *hiccup* switch."  
  
She swore. "Well that's great! Fine... Lean on me... anybody comes near us, I want you to pretend to be snogging me... I doubt any one's up. It's late." She pulled his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"S'okay." Sirius said thickly.  
  
Dobby came closer, "Would Sir and Miss like anything else?"  
  
Sirius and Aahz were found in another compromising situation.  
  
"No Dobby... but could you tell me how to get back to my room without any one seeing us?" She was blushing, but oh well.  
  
"Of course, Miss. Dobby will do anything to help. Floo Powder Miss!" Dobby said, taking a pot from the mantel.  
  
"I could have told you that." Said Sirius drowsily.  
  
"Excuse me... you're drunk..." She turned to Dobby. "You're such a dear. Thank you!" She got the powder and stepped into the fireplace. "Now hold on." She flooed them to her room.  
  
As soon as they were clear of the fireplace, Sirius collapsed. Right on top of Aahz. It seemed he had a sort of morbid fascination with getting them into tough spots.  
  
Aahz looked at the ceiling. "Sirius? Hello?"  
  
He twitched.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Come on! You're squishing me!" Not really... but she'd prefer him to be sober and conscious for the tingles.  
  
Sirius grunted incoherently and shifted his weight. Not that it did much.  
  
Aahz shifted, trying to roll him off of her, but with him being so much bigger than her, she wasn't getting anywhere. "Come on... please... just... roll over or something..."  
  
His finger twitched, and he half-rolled off of Aahz. "Jebus, the floor is cold," he muttered into the floor.  
  
She managed to squirm the rest of the way free and stand up. "Alright... you can take the couch..." She moved to help him stand. "Sirius?"  
  
"Mufhuhugh?" His face was squished into the floor.  
  
"Do you want to spend the night on the floor?" Aahz yawned. "Because I can't lift you... thus you need to get your big butt to the couch under your own steam." She prodded him with her toe. "Okay?"  
  
The only response was a very loud snore.  
  
"WAAA!" She yelled poking him again, hoping to startle him awake. "Come on... I feel bad... you'll catch cold."   
  
More snoring.   
  
"Hm..." Aahz looked at the couch, wondering if she'd be able to float him over to it.   
  
Shrugging, she made a lifting motion in her hands and watched him slowly lift from the floor. "Okay... now to the couch." Aahz started to turn slowly, moving him as well.  
  
*Where's the floor?* Sirius' inebriated brain thought. *Why the hell am I flying? What did she put in that whiskey?!*  
  
Unfortunately for Sirius, she forgot about the lamp, and ran him into it head on. "Oh! Sorry!" Aahz didn't see any blood, but she'd check once she set him down.  
  
"Ughrh......what was that for?" he mumbled, realizing that he was starting to drool. Problem was, he couldn't seem to get his hands to work to stop the disgusting stuff.  
  
Finally she set him down on the couch. "It was an oops... flying isn't my forte... if you will." She leaned over him, checking his head.  
  
He swatted ineffectually at her hand. "I'm fine."   
  
Aahz shook her head at him. "Fine... fine..." She went into her bedroom and grabbed an extra blanket and pillow before coming back out. "Here." She laid them on his chest.   
  
Sirius pulled the blanket over his head, which knocked to pillow to the floor. "Thanks, Aahz..."  
  
"Goodnight." She moved to tuck it over his feet, then saw he had his shoes on still. "Oh no... those are NOT staying on my couch."   
  
*You don't want to take those off, lovely,* he thought, amazed at how coherent his thoughts were as compared to his speech.  
  
Aahz plopped down on that end of the couch and began to tug at his right shoe. "These are some bad shoes... seriously." Then the shoe came off.  
  
Sirius jerked his now exposed foot up underneath himself, hoping to spare Aahz at least a small amount.  
  
"Ew!" She stood, moving to the other side of the room, trying not to gag as she waved a hand in front of her face. "You could've warned me... ick."  
  
"I thought I did..." he mumbled, not really loudly enough to make sense.  
  
Holding her nose, Aahz crept close enough to the couch to wave a hand over his feet, using her magic as an air freshener... odor cover up, something. The only thing she cared about was the renewed ability to breathe. Quickly she removed the other shoe and repeated the procedure.   
  
Sirius pulled his other foot up as well, curling up under the blanket like a five-year-old.  
  
Aahz watched him for a second, then picked up the pillow and setting it near his head. "Goodnight Sirius."  
  
He mumbled something that could have been "good night" or "I love you." He couldn't tell which.  
  
She tucked the blankets around him a bit better, then moved to get ready for bed. 


	3. Explosions and Pranks

Aahz rolled over, waking slowly. She did not want to get up, but she didn't exactly have a choice. She had to meet Snape at six to start her apprenticeship. Sighing, she stumbled out of bed and towards the kitchen and the god otherwise known as the Coffee Pot. 

Sirius groped for the pillow. Whatever it was that was making that awful high pitched whine made his head hurt like there was no tomorrow.

"Java... Java.... Java java java.... Java..." Aahz sang, rather a bit off key as she poured the ground beans into the filter. "Java java Mmm mm good!"

Where was that damned pillow? His groping fingers found the corner of it, which was poking into his right ear, and pulled it under the blanket that was still over his head. He buried his face in said pillow, hoping that the stuffing would muffle the lethal noise coming from the walls.

Aahz glanced at the clock. She had enough time to make a quick breakfast for Sirius and herself before she headed off. 

She opened the fridge, grabbing the makings for pancakes, eggs, and bacon. 

"Make it go away..." Sirius mumbled into the pillow. In addition to the whining noise, there was a crackling, sizzling sound. And a smell to go with it. The odor was enough to make his stomach turn. 

She kept singing as she set the bacon aside to drain, flipping the pancakes as she went. Finally Aahz started the coffee brewing, flipping off the grinder. 

Thank Merlin. The whining noise went away, and Sirius relaxed some of his death grip on the pillow.

Sirius' eggs were done, so she reached up in the cabinet to get a plate, only to knock a glass off the shelf and onto the floor. Sure enough, it shattered, glass covering the floor. "Damn!"

Aahz was stuck. She was in bare feet. If she moved, she was sure to cut herself.

That crashing sound had not been good. And it had definitely made his head hurt more.

Reaching, she turned off the stove, saving the food. Aahz thought of summoning a broom to her, so she might sweep her way out, but she had no clue where one was. "Fart fig nutons." 

The urge to investigate the source of the noises got to the point were Sirius gave up and threw aside the blanked. "ACK!" He squinched his eyes shut, hoping to reduce the glare of the lights. Not that it did much.

"Sirius? You awake?" Aahz glanced towards the living room over her shoulder.

"Sorta. Don't yell." He stood up and shuffled his way towards the kitchen.

"Careful! Don't come in here in bare feet... I dropped a glass." She bit her lip, looking down. This was great. Now she was going to be late for work.

"'k..." He looked down. Sure enough, about three inches from his bare toes were bits of shattered glass. "Calm down, Aahz, I'll call for a house elf."

"If I had a broom I could clean this, but I don't know where one is..." She sighed. "I made breakfast."

"Oh. That's what I smelled." Sirius turned around and made his way to the fireplace. "Where do you keep your floo powder?"

"The little cat dish thing." Aahz yawned, looking longingly at the coffee pot.

"Thanks." He picked up a bit of floo powder and threw it into the fireplace. "Dobby? Is there someone we can borrow for a few minutes?"

"Yesses sir! I can comes if you wantes." The little house elf seemed eager to help.

"That would be great..." Sirius stepped away from the fireplace as the house elf whirred into view and tumbled out.

Dobby bowed low, nose touching the floor. "Thankes sir for letting mes helps. I's is honored...." He looked around. "Er... What's am I's helpings with?"

"We've got something of a problem in the kitchen..." Sirius gestured with one hand. "And we can't find the broom."

"Ohs. Brooms aren't kepts in the roomes cause we's elves sweep the floors.... Wizards is being much much too busy for cleanings." Dobby moved towards the kitchen, stopping when he saw Aahz, who was staring at the coffee pot, again singing her java song.

"Makes sense." Sirius pointed at the floor. "There's the problem."

"Hi... Dobby right?" Aahz didn't look away from the pot. It was calling to her... she could smell the sweet nectar of the gods.... Teasing... 

Dobby tugged on Sirius' pant leg. "Is she okays? She lookeses weirds." 

"She's fine. I think." Sirius squinted at Aahz. "I'm pretty sure she just wants her coffee."

"Huh?" She looked at them. 

Dobby shook his head, looking at the mess on the floor. "Broken glasses is dangerouses." He said in a very serious manner. "You could get cutses."

"That's why we were looking for a broom." Sirius scrubbed at his eyes with a hand. The light was making his head hurt.

"Ohs... Whys didn'ts yous just vanishes it?" He looked at them.

Aahz nodded slowly. "Because the coffee pot wouldn't let me."

"Lack of a wand," Sirius muttered.

"The coffees pot?" Dobby tilted his head, one ear quirking. "Shoulds I punishes it?"

"No!" Aahz said a bit shortly. "Just... make that go away. Please." She pointed to the glass.

"Can I go back to bed?" Sirius mumbled.

Dobby gave them both weird looks, snapping his fingers. The glass disappeared in a poof of smoke. "I'lls be goings now... Byes."

Aahz snagged Sirius by the sleeve. "No, you can't... Thanks Dobby." 

"Thank you, Dobby." He half-waved at the elf. "And why can't I?" he asked, turning to Aahz.

The elf took advantage of their distraction, tip toeing out of the room.

"Because," She started, grabbing a plate, and serving his food. "You're going to eat this." Aahz shoved the plate into his hands.

"Um, not if you want your kitchen to stay clean," he said, trying very hard not to smell the food.

Her violet eyes darkened. "Excuse me?"

"When was the last time you had a hangover, Aahz?" he asked, handing her the plate and looking around for the bathroom.

"Oh.... it's through the bedroom... but if you give me a second I can get you a hangover relief potion." She bit her lip, feeling a bit bad for trying to force the food onto him.

"Nope, no thanks." He made for the bathroom, not entirely certain he'd make it.

Aahz looked at the food, setting it on the counter. She'd clean it up later. Sighing, she turned off the coffee pot, but couldn't find it in her to drink any now. "Great."

We the authors of this beast feel that there is no need to detail Sirius' offering to the porcelain god.

Aahz went into her bedroom, trying to ignore the noise coming from her bathroom. She was late enough as it was. She got dressed quickly and began to brush out her hair, hoping to sneak out without having to face Sirius again. 

Sirius could hear Aahz getting ready to go somewhere....probably off to the new teacher orientation or something. Not wanting to subject her to his hangover-induced ill temper, he stayed in the bathroom

Glancing at the bathroom door again, Aahz moved into the living room, gathering what she needed to work with Snape, then headed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi Bill," Anndy said as she plopped in a seat next to him.  
Bill grinned. "Hey, how was your day?"  
"Long." Anndy answered, grinning back.  
"Long..." He grinned. "Filius and I had a great time."   
"I'm glad. I always liked Flitwick. Even though I always had extra homework."  
"He's great. We worked with some music charms on muggle instruments..." His stomach growled. "Right through lunch... I might add."  
Anndy laughed. "So eat! You can't live off work."  
He dug in, looking rather like Ron, despite the fang earring. "Oh... good."  
Anndy giggled, took a bite, though she suddenly wasn't very hungry. "So what are you doing tomorrow?"  
"I don't know yet. Filius has some meetings, so we can't work. What are you doing?"  
"I have a bit of work with McGonagall, just getting to know the area and stuff, but after that I'm free all afternoon."  
Bill nodded, swallowing. "I don't suppose you'd care to go to Hogsmeade with me?"  
Anndy grinned, keeping the blush off her face. "I'd love too."  
"Great. I was hoping you'd be free." He took a sip of pumpkin juice.  
"Does this mean we're dating, or are we just friends with benefits?" Anndy 

teased.

"Well... I'd prefer dating but I won't push..." He smiled hopefully.  
Anndy smiled. She seemed to do that a lot around Bill. "You don't have to push." And she said, "We're dating."

"Yes!" He practically shouted. "Er... sorry..."

She laughed. "Well, I should probably make sure Aahz isn't killing herself over 

there. Can we meet up later tonight?"

"Oh course." He grinned. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

She grinned, stood up, kissed him on the cheek and left to go talk to Aahz.  
Bill watched her leave before adding more food to his plate.  
*********** 

"Bill?" Anndy called into the Charms Classroom

"Anndy?" Bill ducked out from behind a stack of books.

"Hi."  
He grinned. "You found me!"

"I see that. So do you have any idea what we're doing tonight?"

"Well... I'll let you decide. I have no idea." He jumped over another stack of books, finally reaching her. "There."

"Er...if you like you can help me with my rooms?"  
"You mean unpacking? Sure." He grinned.   
"Well, and setting up." Anndy grinned back.  
"Sounds fun. You get slave labor, I get to spend time with you." He headed 

towards the door.  
Anndy grinned wider. "My rooms are this way." She said, pointing in the 

opposite direction from where Bill was headed.

"Oh." He walked back to her. "I'll follow you."  
"Probably not a good idea, but that's your decision." She walked to McGonagall's office, or so it seemed, until a little gargoyle that no one noticed moved aside and a staircase was revealed. Anndy took it, and led Bill into her rooms.  
"This is cool. My rooms smell like cats or something..." He looked around.  
"Thanks." Her rooms were directly above McGonagall's office, and they were decorated in non-descript creams and whites. There were a few boxes of personal things in front of a large cream plush couch and that was what Anndy 

intended to tackle tonight.  
"Cool couch." Bill tightened his ponytail. "What first?"  
"Well, those boxes, actually." Anndy said, her suitcases and clothes were already 

taken care of, thank god for house elves.   
"Oh. You tell me where to put stuff." He lifted a heavy box easily, opening the 

top.

Books were inside. Anndy pulls out her leather bound copy of "The Full Works of 

William Shakespeare," and placed it on a shelf, motioning for Bill to do the same 

with the rest.

Bill made quick work of the books. "Next box?"  
"Sure." This one was full of photographs.

She pulled out one of a smiling six year old Draco with his mother and placed it 

on the table next to the couch.

"Wow... no offense, but Draco was an ugly kid." Bill pulled out another. "Where 

does this go?"

She put the picture of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy behind her younger brother.

"He wasn't ugly, he just didn't have front teeth."

He smiled. "True. Ron knocked out his 2 front teeth when he was little. Mom 

was so glad when the adult teeth grew in." He swallowed. "You still love your 

family after they kicked you out?"

"Yes. No matter what, they're my family. You can't change that." She took out a 

picture of Aahz and herself, Exploding Snap cards draped over the door behind 

them. In the picture, a card exploded, and Aahz and Anndy flinched.

"I know. My brother Percy... he turned his back on the family because we agree 

with Dumbledore... Mom was devastated."   
"I'm sorry Bill." Anndy took out a picture of her graduating class, Anndy herself 

was off in a corner, her Slytherin scarf around her waist.  
"Wait a tick... You were a Slytherin?" Bill moved the picture box, opening another. She knew where she wanted the pictures.  
"Well, yeah. Aren't all Malfoys? But I was always the odd one out." She 

positioned the rest of the pictures so that her family were a bit farther back, and 

Aahz was grinning at her from the front.

"You're not odd. They are." He went up, putting his arms around her. "Aahz is 

important to you huh?"

"Yeah. She got me through the hard times. Times when my family wasn't there 

to turn to." Her meaning was quite clear.

"I'm glad. I suppose despite her weirdness I'll have to like her now." He hugged 

her, then went back to his box, which he began unpacking. "You have me now 

too... just so you know."

"I have a lot of people now. Its just a matter of whom I'll trust. But I trust you." 

She said quietly, moving over to help him with the desk set.  
"Good." He smiled. "I'm glad."  
"How tall are you?" Anndy asked. It was strange. She had to look *up* at him. 

He had to be at least six-foot.

"6 foot 2, why?" He set the now empty box on the floor.

"Oh I'm just not used to looking up at people." She grinned, "Besides, makes 

it harder to kiss you."

He grinned. "I don't mind." He leaned down and buzzed her lips. "See? Not that 

hard."

"Not for you." She said, than an impish glint came in her eye. She reached up a 

hand, and tugged lightly on his earring. His head jerked immediately down.  
She therefore took advantage of her position and kissed him, before letting go of 

his mouth and his earring at the same time.  
"Well, anytime you want a kiss, tug my earring. I'll be right down." He grinned.  
She grinned too. "Well, back to these boxes then." She said, picking up a light 

box that was full of fluffy maroon pillows  
"Maroon? Ron hates Maroon." He shook his head. "I don't see why but..."  
"It goes well with Cream, though." She said. "These were some of the only things 

I could save from Malfoy Manor."  
Bill frowned. "Do you see them at all?"  
"In passing. But they just ignore me. No never mind that I look almost exactly 

like my mother."

"Idiots. Even Draco?" He wanted to hurt Lucius Malfoy... badly.  
"Even Draco. And we were almost inseparable. Not now though."  
He shook his head. "Sorry."  
"Its not your fault." She said, arranging the pillows on the couch.  
"I know... but you're family. You don't turn your back on family over something 

as petty as not joining the Death Eaters.

"Well, they can't have a good guy in the family now can they? Nope, its all-pure 

bred Death Eater for them." She went to go grab another box.

"This is upsetting you... We can change the conversation." He didn't want her 

upset. Bill wanted to protect her. Amazing, because he'd never had that feeling 

before.

"Well, its better said then ignored."

Bill stopped unpacking, hugging her to him. "I would like to punch your father."

"Join the club." She said, hugging him back, "Its not like he couldn't do with a 

broken nose."

"Well, How about I hold him and you hurt him? Think he'd cry like a sissy man?" 

He whispered into her ear.

"Its be worth it just to see him cringe, except he'd probably cringe at the site of 

his daughter with a Weasley. No offense."

She shivered, his breath was warm.

"Like I care?" He kissed just below her ear. "You cold?"  
"No." She shivered again, snuggling closer in the process.

"Oh? Why are you shivering then?" His lips brushed her ear with each word.

She groaned, leaning her full weight against him, and they toppled back onto the couch.

Bill smile. "I haven't even kissed you yet and you fall over? I have talent!" 

"Either that or I'm just a puddle." She grinned, her head on his shoulder.

His hand played with her hair. "Your hair's soft."  
She smiled, "Thanks."

'It's true." He leaned down, catching her lips with his. "Mmmm."  
"You taste good."  
He smiled, pulling her so his neck wouldn't be at such a weird angle before he deepened the kiss.

His tongue slid in her mouth, brushing against hers and her breath quickened, her hands found their way to his hair, and she was vaguely aware that it was now free of his ponytail.  
He grinned, his hands going to her waist. He groaned. She was so soft.  
Her hands remained in his hair, one of them trailing down his neck before pushing his head closer.  
His tongue delved deeper into her mouth, his hands tightening on her waist. He shifted until he was under her. That was better. He could reach her...  
Anndy groaned, it was better then any kiss she had had before. But those were just stupid boys out for a dare. This was not just some stupid boy, this was someone she cared about.

She was so soft. His hand eased to her hip. He tilted his head, exploring her mouth some more.

She groaned again, before moving so that she could sneak a hand into Bills shirt. His skin was definitely warm, how long had they been there?

He gasped into her mouth before groaning. His hand tightened on her hip, his other hand coming up to tangle in her hair again. 

Her hand slipped into his shirt, the sparse hairs standing at attention under her touch. This was definitely a man's kiss, no boy about it.

Bill broke the kiss, gasping for breath even as he kissed along her neck. "Anndy..." He said her name with a smile. "You're soft."

She grinned, and tilted her head, exposing more neck.

He nibbled along a tendon and grinned. "You going to talk?"

"Do I have too?" She mock whined.

"You don't have to... but you can tell me if you like what I'm doing." His fingers 

twisted in her hair.

She groaned again. "I'm not quite coherent." She managed.  
"Ah." He tugged her earlobe with his teeth. "Why not?"  
Anndy whimpered. "You." She moaned.

"Ah. I suppose I could stop..."

"No!" She practically yelled.

He laughed. "Why not?" 

"Because I won't let you." And she tackled him.

He stopped laughing staring at her. 

"What?" She said innocently.

"Nothing. You're amazing... that' all." He kissed her gently. "What about unpacking?"  
"That can wait."

"Ah." He smiled.

She smiled back. "I'm going to have to remember to thank Aahz."

"Why?" He raised a brow.

"Because if she hadn't come over and made a fool out of herself, I would just be a blonde stuttering tomato right now." She said, her jade eye twinkling.  
"She was doing that on purpose?" He frowned. "I thought that was just her."  
"It was more accented this time. At least, I think it was." she paused, then continued, "But she's a great friend, so I don't see why it matter how she acts."  
"You're right. Just hit me if I'm a jerk."  
"Oh I will." She grinned again, "So, are we going public?"

"Sure, but you'll have to meet my mom."   
"I'd say the same for you but under the circumstances...you get the point."

He kissed her. "I ever see your father I will punch him."

"You do that. But I'll need a camera." She grinned.

"Whatever you want luv, it's yours."

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked suddenly, after a two-minute pause, "Please?"  
"Done... Wait... what are you expecting?" He blushed. Damn his red hair. He HAD to blush.

"Nothing if you don't want to give it. Just remember, I think there's a reason why I'm ABOVE McGonagall's office."

He laughed. "McGonagall thinks I'm a scoundrel, remember? I wonder what she'd say if I kissed you in her class room..."

Anndy snorted, "She'd probably fire me."

"Not if you smacked me..." He grinned. "Any way she'd owl mom and I'd get a Howler so quick..."

"I'd pay money to hear that." Anndy grinned.

"We'll do it then. But if my Weasley arse gets grounded, it's you fault." He kissed her nose.

"If my Malfoy bum gets fired, its hell to pay for you."

"She wouldn't. Just give her a wounded look. She'll cave. Always was easier on 

the girls..." He pouted.

"I wouldn't know." She sighed, "She didn't like Slytheryn girls much."

"Well, say you wanted to be a Gryff but that hat put you in Slyth cause of your 

name." He yawned. "Sorry."

"Come on. Bed time."  
"You're kind of pinning me." He buzzed her lips.

"Oh yeah." She sat up reluctantly.

He stood, picking her up. "There."  
She kissed his cheek, "That door." She said, pointing to the door between a 

door that looked like a bathroom, and a towel closet.  
He carried her over. "Open it please?"

She obliged. "Are you staying?" She asked hopefully.  
"Of course." He kissed her lips and carried her to the bed.   
"Oh good."  
"Only good?" He laid her down, and then straightened, noticing his hair was down. "When'd that happen?"

"Oh, that was me." Anndy raised two fingers in a signal of defeat.  
He grinned. "Ah. You know where my tie back is?"   
Anndy quickly slipped it in her pocket. "Er, no. Not a clue."

"Oh. Maybe on the couch." He sighed. "I'll get it in the morning." He stripped own to his boxers. 

She gazed admiringly at his chest, the red hairs on it, to well, everything...he 

was just gorgeous.

"What?" He looked down.   
Anndy went over to the dresser and pulled out a loose fitting muggle Mickey 

Mouse shirt and pale purple cotton pant with suns and clouds. She changed into 

them without looking back, and no blush present. Yet.

Bill's mouth was on the ground. "I'll... be right back..." He squeaked. He ran into 

the bathroom.

Anndy giggled, and climbed in the bed.  
Bill came back into the bedroom. "Sorry."

"What was that about?"

Bill shook his head. "Nothing. You just caught me off guard."

"How so?" She grinned. She did that a lot

"Seeing you in your knickers startled me... and I had to leave before I snogged 

you senseless. Happy?" He frowned, climbing into the bed.

"Quite." She smirked, Malfoy trademark in place.  
'You would be. Brat." He teased.

"Hey! I resemble that remark!" She said, grinning.

He grinned, kissing her. "I know."

"I feel honored." She joked.

"For what? I feel honored. I'm a scoundrel in a lady's bedroom."

"Over her bosses office." Anndy reminded him.

He rolled his eyes. "Your boss has been dating Dumbledore for many years. 

Somehow I doubt she's going to blush."

"Somehow I doubt she'd appreciate it." Anndy said, grinning, he looked cute 

when he rolled his eyes!  
"I just got a horrid mental image..."

"Really now? And what was that?" She asked snuggling into him.  
"McGonagall and Dumbledore. 'nough said."  
"Ew." She cringed..."I think my mind is dead."  
He kissed her while laughing. "Sorry. Least it wasn't Voldemort in a Speedo..."  
"THANKS BILL!" She yelled. "EW!!!"  
He fell back on the bed laughing. "Wel... come..." he gasped.  
"Jerk!" She said, hitting him lightly.  
He laughed harder.

"Fine." She whispered, straddled him, and firmly placed her mouth over his.  
"Are you quite finished?" She whispered.  
He stopped laughing, nodding. "Yeah."   
"Good."  
He pulled her down for another kiss.  
She sighed into his mouth; this was definitely not what she had been expecting 

her first day back.

He pulled back. "You okay?" His brow was furrowed.

"Fine. This was just unexpected." She said, a small smile playing with her lips.  
"Oh. Are we moving too quick for you?"  
"No...Just, I didn't expect a boyfriend my first day back to Hogwarts." She smiled at him again.  
"Is it okay if you're stuck with me?" He kissed just below her chin.  
"O-of course." She gasped.  
"Good. I don't want to leave your side... not in the foreseeable future." He 

grinned at his gasp.

She ran her hands over his chest, down; WAY down...but not far enough that 

his boxers came down. He wore them low enough anyway.

Air hissed between his lips. "You're evil..."  
"Thank you, I learned from Aahz." She smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know whether to thank her or yell at her..." He kissed the corner of her 

mouth.

She licked him.  
He jumped. "Hey!" that had startled him  
"What?" She said innocently, running her tongue along his jaw line, "You've 

done worse to me." She grinned.

He grinned. His hand eased under the edge of her shirt, tickling her tummy, the 

other cupping her hip. "Not really."  
"You will." she replied.  
"Ah." He left it there, catching her mouth with his.  
She deepened it first, catching him off guard.

He opened his eyes, staring at her even as they kissed.

Her eyes were shut, she seemed quite content to just sit there, lip locked.

He pinched her hip lightly. "Open your eyes." He broke away long enough to say, before kissing her again.

She opened them, to find his dark blue gaze resting on her

After a while they just laid there, watching each other. Anndy slowly drifted off, dark blue eyes still watching her.

Bill watched he, unable to think until he felt himself fall asleep.  
******************

Aahz glared at Snape. Nope, he wasn't greasy any more, but wow did he have split ends! Anywho, who cared if she was late for the 2nd time? She looked at the potion she was making. Next she had to add the infusion of wormwood. Sleeping Draughts were so easy. Merlin this was a waste of her time. She looked at the jar of wormwood. That wasn't right... It said wormwood, but it looked like a woodworm. 

"Prof. Snape? I think you mislabeled this." 

"Did I?"

"I think so Sir."

"Hmm. Add it anyway."

"Sir! That could cause an explosion!" Aahz blinked at him, incredulous.

"Let me see the jar..." Snape said exasperatedly

Aahz handed him the jar with a smirk. He'd see she was right!

"You're mistaken, Miss Saftis. This is wormwood, albeit extremely fresh. Add it anyway, it will be fine."

"But..." He cut her off with a glare. "Will you take any responsibility for an explosion?

"It will be a joint responsibility. Should something happen, it will be duly noted that you objected to using this batch."

"Fine." Aahz winced even as she added it. 

BOOM! 

The room was filled with smoke and a faint, "Ow." Was heard.

"Miss Saftis?"

"Owie."

"Ah." Snape waded through the smoke. "Please escort yourself to the Hospital Wing while I clean up the mess."

Aahz glared. Anger made it hurt less. "I can't walk on a broken leg moron. That 

and whatever rash is creeping over my skin thanks to your pasty arse!" 

She had been knocked against the wall, and her leg was twisted in a way it shouldn't have been able to.

Snape conjured a temporary splint and crutches. "Better?"

"Whatever. Give me the things and move. I am with the cranky right 

now. "She managed to stand.

"Aahz, darling, what the hell did you do?"

"Stupid git." She mumbled. "He made me add the thing though I told him and 

yeah. Gr."

"Ok, calm down and talk to me coherently while I get this awful splint off your 

leg." Aislinn helped Aahz onto the nearest bed.

"He's a moron. That coherent enough?" Aahz snapped. "Sorry."

"Define which moron. I know more than my share, love." She started unwrapping 

the cotton ties.

"Snape... of the formerly greasy hair? We were making Draught of the living Death 

and he made me add what he had labeled infusion of wormwood, even though it 

looked more like a woodworm. I told him too. Dip head." She took a moment to 

breath. "So? Am I going to make it to hit him? Hard?"

"Yes, you'll be fine." Aislinn grinned at her. "Ok, this part's gonna hurt..." She 

gently started pulling off the splint proper.

"YOUCH!" Aahz bit her lip. "I mean... owie."

"I told you it would hurt." She smiled. "Now the easy part. Imenda."

Aahz stared at her leg. "It stopped hurting. That's good right? Git made me break 

my first bone..."

"It's fine. Damned Lockheart said the spell wrong.... I only heard the stories about 

that one. Poor Harry."

"Get up and walk around on it. It's fine now."

Aahz stood walking about a bit. "Hey, thanks. I am a whinny butt, but really. 

Moron."

"I know. Now we memo Dumbledore about this and get the bastard on probation."

"Er... who's going to teach me then?" Aahz plopped back onto the bed.

"No no no, silly. Probation means that he has to leave you alone unless he's 

teaching." Aislinn grabbed a quill and parchment and started writing

"Oh." Aahz felt dumb, but oh well. 

"That's ok, love." She pushed her knee length braid over her shoulder. "Done. Now 

to send it." She waved her wand over the parchment and it folded itself up and flew 

through the doors.

"Cool. I lived with muggles for the longest time. I still don't use a wand." 

"Why not? Is it just an American thing?"

"I gave up when the dude couldn't find one that worked. I practically blew the place up." She smiled, blushing.

"You should go to Olivanders. He'll find you one." Aislinn grinned at Aahz. "Remus tells me you met an old friend of his last night."

Aahz turned really red then. "Um."

"It's ok, love. You don't have to tell me anything."

"No... I just... Yeah... and..." She pulled her knees up to her chest. 

"He has that effect on people." She smiled and blushed a little. "I dated him for a 

while in school. The boy kisses like crazy."

Aahz tried not to, but wound up glaring at her anyway. She shook her head. "Sorry."

"That's ok. It was like third year, anyhow."

"Yeah..." Aahz feel back onto the bed. "But wow... and then the moron this 

morning..." She shook her head.

"I see." She nodded knowingly. "Umm...do you and Sirius want to come to dinner 

with Remus and me in Hogsmeade tonight? I know this lovely place..."

"Well... it's up to Sirius. I'm for it. Mind you, he's not allowed to drink." She laughed.

"Oh yes.... That was an interesting experience the first time around..."

"Huh?" Aahz sat up, propping herself up with her elbows.

"Ooh, maybe I shouldn't tell this story without Remus here, but here goes." She grinned.

"Oh... keep going!" This sounded good.

"In their sixth year James got a hold of some really, really old Firewhiskey. I was 

only a fourth year, so I didn't drink any, but that was fun to watch. James kept his 

alcohol down well, and Remus...well, he didn't drink either, but we all know why. 

Pettigrew was out by the first one, and Sirius kept trying to match James shot for 

shot."

"By the third or fourth shot, he was so tipsy he couldn't see straight. But he kept 

matching James shot for shot."

"Wait... Why didn't Remus drink?" She was confused.

"Well, I'm not sure if I'm the one to tell you this, but I will if you swear it won't get 

out."

Aahz nodded. "I didn't realize it was so personal. You don't have to say anything."

"Well, the staff knows anyway, and you and Andy are like to find out any day now, 

so I might as well tell you."

She bit her lip. "Well... up to you I suppose. And I didn't tell Sirius about you 

engagement. I didn't know if I should..."

"He'll find out tonight if you come. Anyway, Remus has lycanthropy." Aislinn 

looked down at the floor. "I'm not ashamed of it, but it scares me a little."

Aahz gaped. "That's it? He's a werewolf?" 

"Yes, he is." She looked at Aahz. "I'm an Animagus too, but still..."

"A werewolf isn't that big of a deal. My brother's one. He took the bite to save me. 

Poor guy. And the moon's coming up. They're not that bad. But man are the 

transformation painful." She shook her head. 

"I know. I've been there for Remus in my other form since we started dating. But 

the thought of what might happen if he were to change early and I weren't in my 

Animagus form..... It scares me." She looked up and smiled. "But I love him 

anyway."

"I know." She blinked. "So, on to happier things." Aislinn grinned widely.

"Happier things sound great... hmm... I just became an animagus last summer. That's happy right?" Aahz joked.

"That's very happy. What's your form?"

"A Merlin." Aahz grinned and with a pop, a small bird sat on the bed. It ruffled its 

feathers, then a pop was heard again. "There. Man that took me a while." Aahz 

laughed.

"I know the feeling. It took me my entire education to figure out how. I love the patterns your feathers have. Beautiful gold and black stripes."

"Thanks. I need to check a mirror out again. My brother swears for the first month 

I wouldn't stops preening."

"It happens. There's a mirror in the drawer there." She pointed to a night table

Aahz blushed. "I'll wait. I... yeah."

Aislinn laughed and changed her form. Where she had been standing was a huge 

black panther. She purred.

Aahz jumped. "Whoa. That's big." 

The panther grinned, but it looked painful. Aislinn changed back. "Yeah, the first 

time I changed, I scared Pete--Pettigrew senseless. It was soooo worth it."

Aahz laughed. "So who was Peter again? I don't much about Sirius' friends but he 

didn't mention him."

"Peter was......" she paused for a minute. "Peter was the pansy assed slime ball that 

killed Lily and James." The look on her face was hatred, pure and simple.

Aahz tilted her head. "Oh." She bit her lip. "And the ministry said he'd betrayed 

them and then killed the people in the street right?" 

"They said Sirius did that, yes."

"He wouldn't do that. I just met him, but I know him well enough to know that." 

Aahz looked angry. "Dip heads."

"Yeah. Well, we all know that Fudge is an arsehole in the most literal sense, but 

hey. Are you gonna come to dinner tonight?"

"If it okay with Sirius." She frowned. "I think I'm going to send Fudge a Howler."

"You do that. He deserves it." Aislinn walked over to Aahz. "Shall we head down 

to Snarky Man's cave? I'll give him a good talking to about his potions ingredients 

and being more careful."

"Sure. Can I look like I'm in pain and try to make him feel guilty?" She grinned, 

mischief in her eyes. 

"Of course. Would you like me to wrap your ankle and give you crutches?"

"If you would. I like guilt trips... when they're for morons."

"Happy to oblige." Aislinn conjured wraps and crutches. Within minutes, Aahz 

was wrapped and packaged, ready for the guilt trip of the century.

Aahz giggled like mad for a minute, then got herself under control. "oh... This will 

be fun."

"I have no doubt. Shall we?" She gestured to the doors.

"Definitely. You first." Aahz gestured with a crutch.

Aislinn grinned and walked out the door, followed closely by her "patient". Upon 

arrival at the Potions hall, she turned her saunter into a definitely pissed and 

menacing looking stalk. A minute later, she banged on Snape's door.

Aahz limped up behind her, already an expert with the crutches. 

The door slammed open and Aislinn stormed into the room. "Snape, how dare you 

tell her to add that ingredient anyway! That's negligence on your part for 

mislabeling it or not waiting long enough for it to mature or whatever the hell 

happened. I should report you to Dumbledore this instant! YOU ARE NOT 

SUPPOSED TO INJURE YOUR APPRENTICE!!!"

Aahz limped pitifully into the room, wincing with each step.

Snape turned around slowly from where he had been standing. "I was not aware you had the authority to rage at me like that, Miss Lestrange," he said icily

Aahz bit the inside of her mouth, trying to look like she was in pain.

"As I recall," he continued smoothly, "You are just an apprentice yourself. Or has 

Madam Pomfrey retired already?"

Aahz tried not to laugh, making it a moan instead. He was going to get it.

"I might be "just an apprentice," Snape, but as one with medical training, I have 

the authority to tell you anything I damn well please when it comes to the health 

and safety of the staff, apprentices and students at this school."

Aahz limped to a chair, and eased herself into it. She still didn't say anything.

Snape just looked at the younger woman. "Well," he said finally, "It seems that I have been put in my place as it were."

Aahz winced. "Sir? Will I be expected to show up tomorrow?"

Aislinn glared at him and flipped her wayward braid back over her shoulder. "The next time something happens, professor, I expect that you have someone properly escort the victim up to see me or Poppy."

"No, Miss Saftis, I do not expect you here tomorrow."

"Thank you Sir." She stood, moaning pitifully.

"I'll take you as far as your rooms, Aahz," Aislinn said, suddenly motherly.

"Thank you." So we can laugh our bums off? She asked in her head.

As soon as they were well clear of Snape's room, Aislinn started laughing. "God, I haven't pulled one like that in ages."

Aahz leaned against the wall, shaking with silent laughter, the kind where you can't breath.

"You know, I think you might be a bad--or is that good--influence on me, dear. Oh, 

I've been waiting for an opportunity to go off on him like that since first year."

Aahz nodded, tears rolling down her face. She still couldn't speak.

"You ok there, Aahz?" Aislinn looked "down" from her position on the wall with her head tipped back.

She opened her mouth. "Ye..." She broke into laughter again, her arms hugging her belly.

Aislinn laughed right along with her. "Wooh...Shite! Snarky Man alert!" Snape was walking down the corridor towards them.

Aahz wailed. "It hurts Aislinn!"

"Oh, I'm, going to kill him...." She knelt down and busied herself with the wraps on 

Aahz's ankle so as to keep from laughing at Snape.

Aahz aimed the puppy eyes she'd been practicing at Snape, big old alligator tears 

rolling down her face.

"Oh, you poor baby...." Aislinn cooed from her spot on the floor. She glanced up at 

Snape's face. He was walking stonily on, trying his damnedest not to look at Aahz.

Aahz sniffled greatly. "Are there any..." She sniffled again, "pain potions left?" 

"Some, lovey. Do you think you can hobble up to the Hospital Wing with me? "

Aahz squared her shoulders. "I can try..."

"Alright. Here we go." Aislinn flipped her braid out of the way (again) and helped Aahz get back onto the crutches.

Aahz whimpered. "I'm sorry. I hate being a pain..."

"I know, love." She winked at her counterpart in crime. Snape had stopped a few feet away from them and was looking everywhere but at them. "OK, you got it?"

"I think so..." Aahz winked back, glad he was on her side of the wall. When Aislinn let her go, she shrieked, and fell towards Snape. 

He caught her by reflex and stood her as upright as possible. Aislinn worked her shoulder underneath Aahz's and glared at him the whole time. Clearing his throat, he walked off towards the far end of the hall.

Aahz whimpered. "I can't even walk!"

"I know....Ok, we'll do this together. Ready? Hop!"

Aahz hopped, trying not to grin.

"Aaand....Hop!" Aislinn smothered the laughter in her voice, not entirely successfully.

Aahz hopped. "I feel like a demented rabbit!" She wailed.

Aislinn valiantly stifled her giggles. "As soon as we're around the corner," she whispered, "You can walk, ok?" Loudly she said, "It's ok, kiddo. Aaand HOP!"

Aahz hopped until they got around the corner, hanging onto Aislinn.

"Wooh, ok. Off with the bandages." She twitched her wand and the bandages whipped off and rolled themselves up.

Aahz giggled. "Quick, let's get to my rooms so we can laugh properly about this."

"Indeed." Aislinn took off at a goodly pace. "We'd better book it though, 'cause Snarky is like a bat. Here one second, there the next."

Aahz snorted, taking off at a run. "Race you!"

"Right on!" She tore after Aahz.

Aahz skidded around a corner, shrieking like a kid. 

"Crap!" Aislinn shouted as she nearly impaled herself on the same corner

"Careful!" Aahz shouted. She made it to the hall where her room was, seeing the wet floor sign in front of the door. Grinning she tried to stop in front of the door, but wound up skidding the rest of the way down the hall.

"Oooh, you be careful, Miss Aahz," Aislinn called, slowing to a walk 

Aahz squeaked, wind-milling her arms, barely keeping her balance. "Oh... fun."

"You ok?"

"Oh that was fun..." Aahz grinned as she walked back to her the portrait that lead into her rooms. She thought it was of Godric Gryffindor, but she wasn't sure. "Dr. Pepper."

"Dr. What?"

"Pepper." The painting opened and Aahz stepped through. "Come on."

Aislinn walked through the open portrait without further hesitation.

Aahz flopped down onto the couch, panting.

"Ahhh...." Aislinn sat down on an armchair

Aahz sat up, "Huh?"

"It feels good to sit down. I've been doing inventory in the Hospital Wing all morning."

"And then I made you hop and run...." Aahz snickered. "Sorry."

"That's ok. It was well worth the humiliation that Snape got. Well, is going to get in about three...two...one..." A thundering voice echoed through the castle. "Severus Snape, please report to the Headmaster's office!"

"What?" Aahz raised a brow. 

"You remember that note I sent to Dumbledore?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I told Dumbledore that the explosion had given you a compound spiral fracture which, if I hadn't been able to heal, would have meant that you would be in a cast and crutches for the next three months."

"Oh. You're mean..." Aahz laughed. "I wonder where Sirius is."

"Probably with Remus. They haven't seen each other in ages."

"Yeah. Durn dog had to follow me home." She tried to jest, but wound up grinning. 

"I know." She stood up. "So, shall we go find the beast?"

Aahz stood. "Sure."

Aislinn walked over to the portrait and pushed it open. "Our rooms are up by the Gryffindor Tower. I hope you're up for a walk."


End file.
